There are people who don’t like to say the word “sex” out loud. They whisper it, or mouth it silently, in the same way others might try to avoid naming those feared shibboleths “cancer” or “apartheid” or “cryptocurrency”.
Sex is more thrilling for some when it happens in the dark. Purveyors of sexy sex acts and sexy sex products either employ euphemisms — “massage”, “intimate apparel”, “erotica” (even that still raises some hackles), “adult entertainment” — or tout their wares in shadowy corners and behind blacked-out windows. Sex organs (organ is such a repulsive word, unless it’s playing Bach) are given silly nicknames, as is the sex act itself — “nookie”, “hanky panky”, “rumpy pumpy” (a term the auto-spellcheck changes to “grumpy puppy”: perhaps it’s not getting any).
This is a generalisation, but South Africans in particular seem to have an aversion to shedding light on sex, to being seen naked, to being discovered surfing sex sites, and to (heaven forfend) talking about sex.
Love is a different story. Ah, love. That word we can say. We all love love. Which is partly why the event formerly known as the Sex Expo is now the Love Expo. The other reason for the name change is that the word “sex” shoots up firewalls faster than you can say “erect”, which presents digital marketing challenges.
Love Expo organiser Sarah Dean, who has worked in the exhibitions industry in South Africa for 25 years, says: “Yes, part of the name change was obviously about overcoming the barriers of being able to advertise because the word sex creates problems, but it is also an indication of how we’re seeing and growing the event. Love Expo actually describes it a lot better than Sex Expo.”
Dean has been involved with the show since its first incarnation as the Sexpo in 2007. At the time, the South African version was part of a franchise owned by an Australian company. When the restraint of trade had run its course, Sex Expo was relaunched as a purely local “adult-themed” exhibition — but of course not everyone who attends what is now Love Expo is an out-and-out exhibitionist.
Love is a different story. Ah, love. That word we can say. We all love love
There was historically some fear about attending an event that blatantly branded itself as all about sex, says Dean. “There was always a lot of interest, but people weren’t really sure what to expect. I think the name change to Love Expo encapsulates what it really is about. It’s about lifestyle and health awareness and a celebration of different people’s different expressions of love in all its various forms. Also, the rename attracts women: this is not just a man’s night out by any stretch of the imagination. It’s a place where couples of any sex or sexual orientation can come and explore and be educated, and obviously be entertained.”
There may still be some hesitancy when it comes to publicly embracing sex and sexuality, but more than half a million people have attended the expo since it hit this continent.
South Africans are undoubtedly becoming more open-minded, more tolerant and more experimental in the field of love. Dean feels that Love Expo has “broken away from that traditional mould of purely shock factor. It’s embracing how the world, and South Africans in particular, have caught up in terms of how to see this kind of event. As opposed to being shocked by it, they are seeing the value of having fun as well as learning.”
She calls it “the most comfortable environment for couples to be able to explore various things about sexuality, as opposed to going to, for example, an adult shop. It removes that stigma. The whole idea is that it’s fun. It is a fun experience, a fun outing. We’ve increased the lifestyle elements as well to include health and wellness, expressive clothing and so on. So it really has broadened the spectrum.”
This is reflected in the changing visitor demographics. Though these are difficult to measure — because most tickets are still bought at the entrance even though prices are slightly lower when booking online — Dean says it is clear just from looking at the crowd how things have shifted.
“All those years ago, back at the beginning, it was more the titillation factor that drew the bachelorettes and the men’s-night-out guys, but it has definitely expanded. We have seen a dramatic rise in couples — over 50% of our visitors are now couples.”
The organisers welcome this trend because, as Dean says, “couples have the spending power”. (Perhaps it’s also a matter of agreeing to spend money together rather than one partner having to hide that frivolous purchase of a lipstick-wearing blow-up hedgehog on the joint credit-card statement.)
The average age of visitors has also increased over the years. “We originally thought it would be the very young couples, 18-25-year-olds,” says Dean, “but that is certainly not the case. They are more mature; there are people in their 60s and 70s. Sexuality is not defined by your age. It’s a very open expo. It doesn’t have any limit when it comes to age, sexuality or race.”
Love Expo prides itself on its inclusivity. Dean emphasises the importance of the LGBTQI+ market as well as the educational element. Workshops will be presented every 30 minutes over the three days, covering topics such as “how to express love to your partner, not just in an obviously physical way but in terms of an emotional connection”.
Visitors to the show may have got comfortable enough with the words sex and love not to have to disguise themselves in raincoats and balaclavas, but they know they’re not going to play bridge with Granny in the old-age home
Dean expands: “There are elements such as erotic massage, sexual development and women’s awareness of sexuality and their own bodies, and escaping that very traditional old-school opinion that sex is focused towards the man. About the stigma towards, for example, BDSM, understanding that it does not have to be aggressive; it actually can be sensual.
“Again, it’s about inclusivity, about embracing your own sexuality, acknowledging it and looking at how you move forward and process that in terms of your emotional state, how you represent yourself in the world. There’s a big variety. The workshops are always well attended, and they are interactive.”
That said, the “naughty” factor remains part of the appeal. Visitors to the show may have got comfortable enough with the words sex and love not to have to disguise themselves in raincoats and balaclavas, but they know they’re not going to play bridge with Granny in the old-age home. There is an expectation of mild voyeurism and enjoyable titillation.
“Entertainment is a huge element of the expo,” says Dean. “It is very different from a normal consumer expo where people just go and shop. Obviously there is shopping — lifestyle products, adult products, and so on. This remains an important part of the expo, but it’s about entertainment as well. It is absolutely about lightening up love and seeing it from a cheeky point of view, an explorative instead of a judgmental point of view.”
Apart from performing a public service, Love Expo is a commercial venture with a range of stakeholders. When it comes to exhibitors and what foot count to promise them, Dean says moving the event to its current venue in Menlyn was strategic.
“We hosted the first one there when we relaunched it as Sex Expo. It’s a very affluent area and the venue is high-end. We’ve held it previously at Gallagher Estate, which is fantastic as well because you draw both the Joburg and Pretoria crowds, but even when it is in Menlyn, people travel from Joburg. The strategic decision to hold it only once a year — we’ll be looking at Cape Town next year — also means our visitor numbers go up. Plus, we can now advertise on social media as well as keep our big outdoor advertising campaign, which we’ve traditionally done since day one.”
Dean says it is hard to predict visitor numbers to Love Expo, but: “I would conservatively estimate that we expect somewhere between 15,000 and 17,000 people over the three days.”
Full disclosure: there are also sectioned-off areas, including a swingers lounge, a nudist lounge, a BDSM lounge, a ladies lounge, a men’s lounge and a theatre of erotica, that fully informed and consenting adults may enter should they choose to, but which are not on full-frontal view to the general public. The show’s marketing material describes these experiences as “curated worlds of imagination and desire. From playful and curious to digital, live, or lavishly themed, explore immersive spaces crafted for every fantasy and flavour.”
Fear not, there is plenty of publicly palatable action for the more sensitive visitor. Taking place on the main stage will be aerial acts, burlesque dance, pole-dancing, body-art demonstrations and competitions where visitors can enter, for example, body-chocolate-licking contests.
“The more interaction you have with visitors, the more comfortable they feel,” says Dean.
And in the age-old tradition of “adult lifestyle entertainment”, those who prefer not to enter the “so you think you can strip” competition can simply watch while comfortably licking an ice-cream cone from the Aphrodisiac Deli.
* Love Expo 2025 is at SunBet Arena Times Square, Pretoria, from November 28-30
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