MARC HASENFUSS: Hang on to your Zen

I have to confess I had no idea luxury brands conglomerate Richemont had consolidated its shares.

I’m usually pretty up to date on such key corporate developments, especially in shares I watch closely. When I saw the R3,000 share price, I guffawed and thought: “Finger trouble.” I found out later about the consolidation via friends and family who are, or in one instance were, invested in Richemont.

A friend — and he must obviously remain nameless — buzzed me on Thursday afternoon to say he had sold 10% of his Richemont holdings at an enormous profit. I countered that this was impossible, but he had the broker’s note to prove the transaction. What he had inadvertently done was to sell his entire “consolidated” holding in Richemont. Presuming Richemont was a long-term hold, I don’t even want to think how this might right royally stuff up portfolio planning.

My son, a more recent investor in Richemont, was also caught up in the tumult and was inconsolable on Friday afternoon. In the middle of dealing with my daughter having stitches removed from her hand, Zac reported that his EasyEquities account showed he was down 90% on his precious (and profitable) Richemont holdings. I tried desperately via WhatsApp to explain the mechanics of a share consolidation, to no avail.

The expletives flew — on both sides. If my dear daughter is scarred for life, it will not be from the cut on her hand. By the weekend, Zac’s account showed his newly restored holdings and he was composed enough for me to explain that he in fact held Richemont warrants, not shares.

How he deals with this little quandary will be interesting to monitor, as one needs to ponder the indignity of holding just a few “real” Richemont shares.

Speaking of second prize, I must report that my long-time doubles partner Raymondo and I were again bundled out of club champs in the quarterfinals, this time by two youngsters who nonchalantly flicked back balls from all corners of the court.

For five years now, we have struggled in successive club champs to replicate our league form, where we regularly beat more fancied players. There was a point in the second set, when Ray was lunging ominously at the net, that we might have swung the match. But a key volley sailed just clear of the baseline, which unfortunately coincided with The Ninja purposefully strolling out on the patio with a cold draught in hand.

The fight just seeped out of us old soaks. I suppose Ray and I need to revisit our arrangement, but then we would probably have a quarter of the fun. I mean, who else will shuffle up to you on match point and inquire earnestly: “Be honest, do you think my bum looks big in these shorts?”

On the topic of seismic shifts, I might be guilty of being sucked into the social media narrative on South Africa’s investment prospects. There’s a fair bit of noise, including from a former journalist turned financial expert, about a dire list of tactics to protect your wealth in a doomsday scenario.

This unfolded as I was considering increasing my exposure to Astoria, a small investment counter with some interesting and mostly unlisted assets. After last week’s load-shedding exertions, I was left seriously weighing up whether I should rather mobilise funds for CoreShares’ Global DivTrax exchange traded fund (ETF) and the NewWave dollar exchange traded note.

After all, if I am getting horribly snagged when sorting out domestic matters, then how on earth are business owners coping with the obstacles steadily piling up on what used to be a road to growth?

I listened to a recent investment presentation by Astoria’s prime movers, Piet Viljoen and Jan van Niekerk, and was somewhat placated by their Zen gaze through the country’s present challenges. Astoria, as I wrote earlier this month, has a big exposure in specialist retail, which in these fickle times has been a real star performer.

The margin story looks convincing too, which is often the case when you cater to a reliable (and fairly well-heeled) niche. I also like the cautious narrative around expansion — refreshingly free of (over)ambitious African expansion plans or rapid store openings. Heck, I even got to thinking that Astoria’s retail investment might interest the KAL Group, should it wish to stretch what it regards as agriculturally aligned services.

That said, I — skilled fence-sitter that I am — did start assembling a counterbalance in CoreShares’ Global DivTrax and NewWave $. I’ll probably spend much of May mulling Hosken Consolidated Investments and Remgro versus Charles Schwab’s US Dividend Equity ETF and Reinet Investments. Or even those pesky Richemont warrants.