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Clementines Restaurant ****
733 Van Zyl Street, Clarens
Tel: (058) 256-1616
***** Pravin Gordhan
**** Excellent
*** Good
** Poor
* Jacob Zuma
— FOOD FOR THOUGHT
You won’t believe this but I was once invited to lunch at the presidential pad, Mahlamba Ndlopfu, by Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma. It was soon after he was first elected president of the republic in 2009.
I nearly fell off my chair when I got the invite. Me? After my criticism of the great Zuma? Maybe he was mellowing? I resolved to go. So I had a shower (twice), wore a dark suit and a suitably sombre and respectful tie. There were a few of us political commentators invited.
Zuma was late. He was very, very late. We waited. And waited. The host arrived more than three hours late, giggled and told us he would revolutionise SA.
Forget about all the other misdeeds he has been accused of, the reason Zuma is being pushed out by the ANC is his serial lateness. I remember him being six hours late for a June 16 rally. What could he have been doing?
Mosebenzi Zwane arrived three and a half hours late for a media briefing at Sibanye Gold, where 1,000 miners had been trapped underground
Under Zuma nothing started on time: rallies, ANC leadership meetings, cabinet meetings, media briefings — the man thinks the world revolves around him. Last month, proceedings for the ANC’s 106th birthday celebrations started promptly at 11am under the new man, Cyril Ramaphosa. Zuma slouched in late. The crowd booed him.
Zuma’s lack of timekeeping has infected his cabinet too. Last week that incompetent who masquerades as the mineral resources minister, Mosebenzi Zwane, arrived three and a half hours late for a media briefing at Sibanye Gold, where 1,000 miners had been trapped underground after a power failure.
Three and a half hours? What was he doing? Running an errand for the Guptas? Milking cows at the Vrede dairy farm? Booking tickets to Dubai?
This lot wouldn’t make it to Clementines, the renowned restaurant in the picturesque town of Clarens in the Free State. Nestled on the slopes of the Maluti mountains, this is one of the most beautiful places in our country.
Clementines is popular, so be sure to book. Like most establishments in the town, the kitchen closes at 8pm. Yes, you heard me — 8pm. If your order is not in by 8pm you won’t sample their very tasty meals. I can assure you that Zuma and Zwane will never eat at Clementines. They would be late.
We weren’t late. We were a party of four, we booked beforehand and read up on the restaurant before going. We arrived promptly at 7pm, but the rush really starts at 7.30pm when virtually all the tables are swiftly occupied in anticipation of the 8pm deadline.
Clementines is in a pretty, corrugated-iron, former SA Railways bus service maintenance shed. It is large and roomy with lots of tables.
The menu is extensive, with a healthy wine list (we polished off a sauvignon blanc and the really excellent Black Oystercatcher Triton red blend, which was a happy revelation for me), and a delightful chef (Addo) who has served everywhere from Accra to Cape Town to South Korea via Paris and Maseru.
After feeding nearly 20 tables in just two hours, he came out to say hello to every patron without looking even slightly harassed. Amazing.
Three of us had garlic snails. Wonderful. The avo ritz was delightful.
The mains were even better. My pork belly with fine crackling was perfect. It was a healthy serving, but I polished it off without stopping. My friends had the fillet and the rump and both looked crestfallen when they finished off the last morsel. We could have eaten more.
Lovely place, lovely people.
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