The Royale ****
357 Jan Smuts Avenue
Craighall, Johannesburg
Tel: 060-575-2471
Thuli Madonsela ***** | Excellent **** | Good *** | Poor ** | Jacob Zuma*
— food for thought
Most Financial Mail readers are tucking into this column with a piña colada in the hand, lying on a beach somewhere, wondering whether they should book a Thai massage at sunset before a sumptuous dinner.
Well, dear reader, spare a thought for me and the rest of the political journo pack. Piña colada? No. Christmas with the family? Perhaps not.
As you read this I am ploughing through the ANC’s economic policy document, trying to make sense of "radical economic transformation" as espoused, paid for and popularised by the Guptas. But that’s probably not the reason I will be at Nasrec on Christmas Eve.
Given the plethora of court interdicts and challenges to the standing of many of the delegates to the ANC national conference, who is to say that it will actually go on? Or how long it will last.
My greatest fear as I write this column is not that the ANC delegates will choose to extend the Zuma nightmare years through his proxies (can you imagine minerals minister Mosebenzi Zwane, one of Zuma’s golden boys, as a member of the party’s national executive committee?) or that they will choose all the policies that lead to a Zimbabwe scenario. My greatest fear is that there will be one or 20 court challenges to the ANC conference and officials such as Gwede Mantashe will try to drag things on, and on, after the official end-date of December 20.
I like Cyril Ramaphosa a lot. But I don’t want to tuck into my Christmas turkey with him in Nasrec. No sirree.
I especially don’t want to have Christmas lunch with Zuma and his cronies. Yikes! Can you imagine? Obviously Carl Niehaus would be there, regaling everyone with tales of his mother having died and leaving him a handsome inheritance. While the poor mother is still alive. There would be Bathabile Dlamini, a keen defender of Zuma against anyone who dares say he forced himself on his friend’s daughter.
The Royale is in an area that seems to be struggling a bit, but the place itself is fabulous. Walk through the doors and you are in Little Havana
The mere thought of such a Christmas made me want to have a happy meal in a happy place, at once. My friend Taryn Lamberti and her lovely husband Shane Fitzpatrick whispered in my ear that the young man who had started Brian Lara Rum Eatery in Linden had parted ways with his partners and opened a Cuban/Caribbean-inspired joint in Craighall. The Royale is right on Jan Smuts Avenue, in an area that seems to be struggling a bit, but the place itself is fabulous.
It’s amazing what an entrepreneur can do with a lousy space. Walk through the doors of The Royale and the place is transformed into Little Havana.
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Service is prompt and attentive. You are welcomed with a smile. The menu is small — just the way I like it. The bar snacks include oysters, pork riblets, prawn skewers and empanadas. We loved the mains — the clams were outstanding, the prawns with an island curry probably the best dish in the house.
We ate a lot. Lamb chops (good), oxtail pie (so excellent Taryn keeps dreaming about it) and the salmon ceviche (outstanding). The squid was good, but nowhere near as good as the rest of the dishes. I like a side dish, so I ordered the coleslaw and chorizo fried rice. Lovely.
The Royale is a happy place. It was packed on the night we went and everyone sipped on the myriad cocktails and seemed happy. I am going back.
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